"and the winner is...?"

Today I had the day off, a 4-day weekend! Yeah! I was reading the book by Wayne Dyer, called Inspiration. My friend Pam surprised me and we sat talking for hours. We were trying to "figure" things out. Trying to "figure" out how to really be "present", get out of our heads, and to "figure" out how to balance being present and reaching our goals, all the stuff I have been writing about for the past month. I got so frustrated, I am totally in my head right now. Most people I know, don't have big dreams like I have. I wish I wanted "the simple life", life would be so much easier. Most people just want to raise their families, and enjoy the life they have. Don't you? I mean I can't be that different, can I? I mean don't we all just want to be happy? Why do I feel I have a purpose, a gift to inspire people? Why am I driven to be the best I can be. Sounds like an ad for the Army. Am I delusional? I have been battling this for so long. The endless battle.... my soul vs. my head...........and the winner is????????? Some people think I am searching for something because I dislike who I am, to filll a void. Is that me? I don't think so, the truth is I can be totally happy with the life I have, because I do have a great life right now! But something is driving me forward, something from deep within, I know my purpose, who I am. If I can only get out of my own way, than I can just be who I am meant to be. I am inspiration! That is who I am!
Lauren