"Life is truly wonderful"

It has been a long time since I have written anything. I hope everyone is wonderful. I had a incredible experience and wanted to share it with you. I was in Europe for 2 weeks, a week in Prague, Czech Republic and a week in Italy for my brother's wedding. I will send pictures later.
I realized something so profound, at least it was profound to me. I was in my favorite city in all the world, Prague. I wanted to experience Prague and all it's glory without all the people, and I wanted to take incredible pictures so, I got up at 4:00 am, just before sunrise and went to the main square and Charles bridge by myself, while Ernie slept. There were very few people, actually there was two people on the bridge, as I stood there, the light was illuminating the sky, I was incomplete awe. The feeling was hard to explain, but I will try. A wave of complete joy came up from my belly, and came pouring out of me. I had no thoughts, just pure awe of my surroundings. I remember saying out loud, " God do you feel what I am feeling, do you see what I am seeing?" At that moment I got it. I realizing that I am so unique, that there is no one in the world like me, like you! Because, at that moment I saw the Charles Bridge, like no one else did. I saw it through my eyes, through who I am. Thousands of people a hour are on that bridge and each one of them are experiencing the moment differently from all the rest. The bridge has been the same for 700 years, the streets of Prague don't change, everything is the same as is was and will be for the next 600 years, but the way each person sees it, experiences it, is what makes us unique. We see the world from our past, our perceptions, through who we are at each given moment,and that is what makes us unique. That moment on the bridge, I realized how incredible and unique I really am, how we all are. It is like the old saying, " beauty is in the eye of the beholder." "life is in the eye of the beholder." So, how do you see the world around you? Do you see a hawk as the incredible creature it really is, or do you even notice it at all. NOTHING is what it seems, you make it what it is. Life is truly wonderful!

"One day at a time"

Well well, hello again! How is everybody doing? I was re-reading the comments on the last blog. It is interesting, that is my problem, trying to balance being in the moment and striving for my goals. How do you do that? I discussed this topic with my husband, he said I have the "artist" mentality, of always striving, pushing myself to the limit, and never being satisfied. He is in the same boat. He is very creative musically. But, happiness is a state of mind, I am happy with who I am, what I have in my life. But, there is something in me that pushes me forward, I want to experience, learn and grow continuously. To tell you the truth life would be so much easier if I just be where I am now. It is actually a wonderful life, but that is not me. Even now I am going through a deep depression, but I still would not want to be anyone else. And I know that once I get through what I am going through now, I will catapulted to a new level of experiences, perceptions. I love the constant change, adventure that life offers. I talked to one of my waitresses the other day, she is in her 20's and when I asked her how her life was, she said it is fine, it has been the same for the past two years. That is so weird to me, I am always experiencing a new adventure in my life. Now back to the question, how to balance that, I do not know. Now I just take it one day at a time. That is all I can do, but I still have a dream.
Lauren

Are you happy?

Hey everybody, it has been forever since I have written. I miss it! I have been busy at work and enjoying my residents. Life is good! I still have my dreams and striving to reach them. I still find it difficult to be present and in the moment. I feel like I need balance in my life, that is hard for me. Surrendering to now and striving for my dream, how in the hell do you do that? Every person I work with has no goals, no dreams they just do their "thing" whatever that may be. So many of them say that their life is their job, and that they have nothing else. I try not to judge them, in fact I have no right to judge them, but lets put it this way, I don't get it! I tell you one thing they are amazing people and I love them dearly, I just want to see them happy. Most people don't seem happy to me. What do you guys think out there in facebook land? Are you happy? Do you like your job? Your life? I find myself happy for weeks at a time and then Boom! I get wrapped up in beating myself up, for not loosing enough weight, or going to bed to early or not exercising that day and especially for not being present. When I finally get out of "my complaining mood", I should say, than I am happy again. It is strange really I am my best friend and at times my worst enemy. I just assume that it is that way for everybody? Who knows? Right now I have a three day weekend and I am going to enjoy myself, enjoy life, and be grateful for the moment. See you soon, have a great weekend.
Lauren

"4 Star Review"

Well guys, can you believe it. I got 4 stars on my book review. I am so happy! The review was great. I just want to update on the next steps of getting my book out there in the world. A crazy thing happened when I first got my first proof back, I shared it with the people at work and ordered copies to try to sell. Well, no one noticed the mistake on the cover where there was no "s" in woman's journey of self-discovery. It read dicovery, and no one noticed until later one of my editors called me and pointed it out to me. So, I had no idea what to do with those books, the truth is I just wanted to give them away, but thought that was a bad business decision. I am not a business woman what so ever. I decided to give them away to the staff at work that wanted to read them. I also ordered new books in hopes of trying to sell them. One day I was sitting at Dos Coyotes, and out of the blue I heard a voice that said give it to the woman sitting next to me, and I did. I told her I know this might sound crazy, but I am suppose to give this book to you. I asked her if she liked it to please pass it on. Crazy huh! People have just been coming up to me out of the blue asking me what am I reading and we just start talking about my book. My next step next week is sending out the press release to over 2000 media outlets, and I will get the list so I call follow up on the connections. I need your help, however, those of you who have read my book and like it, can you please go to Amazon.com and write a small review on it. I would appreciate it immensely. I hope you all have a great weekend and again thank you for all your support.
Lauren

"The truth sets you free, or does it?"

Hey everybody, How is the New Year going so far? I hope it is going great. I feel great! I have been nervous about my book coming out. But so far, I have gotten a good response. I got new friends on facebook recently, so for those who don't know my book is called "A Touch on the shoulder" and is available at Amazon.com. check it out! I have noticed how much I have been in my head lately, being nervous about my book, doubting myself, and worrying that "I am delusional" and that my book is not as good as I hope it is. I know I talked a lot about being my worst enemy, and that old "cousin it" is creeping back in my head. It says crazy things, and I can't believe after all this time, I still get caught up in all its antics. I actually have gained 15 pounds over this! Crazy! well now I am back on track, it just crept up on me. I mean, I know that I am being very vulnerable in my book, but I put it out there, now I just have to let it go. What happens, happens, right! That is much harder than it looks. But the truth is, I want to know the truth. It is important to me to know how people feel about what I have written. Why? Because I want to continue writing and inspiring people, helping people, just to be a reminder that we are not alone in the world. But that is where the truth comes in, I also want to know if I am, who I think I am. (cousin it is here with me) But seriously, I want the truth. For me the truth does set you free or does it?
Lauren