"Sounds easy"

I gave my first speech last night at Toastmasters. Everyone had good things to say, but I was unhappy with it. The first speech is always about the person's life. Sounds easy, but I was nervous. I did not say what I wanted to say and did not stick to my notes. Every time I would look at my notes I did not know where I was, and I did not want to stand there looking at them. The reason why I am doing Toastmaster is to help improve on my workshops for women. I am starting up my workshops again in January. So, now the question is am I being in my head and beating myself up, or am I honest with myself that I need improvement. Maybe a little of both.
I asked the group if I would be allowed to practice my presentations that I will be doing in my workshops and they gave me the OK. I am noticing the rambling in my head, "but there are men there", "they wouldn't get it" "what are you doing!" "you will make an ass out of yourself." I am so sick of that voice in my head, always putting me down. That is not me, and I know that. I am so glad I am aware of it, and not letting it take over my life. Here's to not letting the ego's mind get in the way of our lives.
Lauren