"New year, New beginnings"

I haven't forgotten you guys. Christmas was perfect! My husband and I had 36 presents under the tree just for us. We spoiled ourselves rotten! It was so fun, we had our poo poo"s (appetizers), beer, Christmas music. Then on Christmas day I was with my residents. Now tomorrow we are having a New Years Party with my residents. Actually it is a New Years Dance with music from the 30's & 40"s, then we well serve them sparkling cider, more poo poo's, and toast the New Year. Can you believe it will be 2011! Crazy, huh! It will be a great year! I can't wait! Life is great. I have been crying for 3 weeks because I am so happy. Christmas brings out the best in me.
I want to up date you on my book. I am waiting for a book review, and then I will send out a press release to media outlets, such as magazines, newspaper etc. so wish me luck. I will let you know what will happen. Again you can get my book on Amazon.com "A touch on the shoulder"
I want to know what you guys think. Thank you for all your support.
Happy New Year to all! I hope 2011 will be the best year for all of us!!!!
Lauren

"May all your dreams come true!"

Christmas is almost here, and a new year is about to begin. I love this time of year and find myself singing Christmas songs where ever I go. I hear laughter from friends exchanging gifts, from children playing and from co-workers on their lunch break. Lets take time this Christmas from the hustle and bustle of trying to get things done and from running here and there, and take a look around. Stop, and really take a look! We are all here on this planet, together, there is so much good in the world and sometimes we miss so much. Lets take the time to notice the little things that life has to offer, a smile from a stranger, laughter from a child, the perfect Santa Clause that is right in front of you. Lets, stops the worries, the fears and just be with each other. We are one, after all. Lets look pasted the assumptions, the judgments, and just except everyone for who they are right at this moment. Lets give to others for no other reason than just to give. Lets strive to have love in our hearts, lets make 2011 the best year yet! We can start by taking the time to just really look at the world around us, and share a little love with each other. May 2011 be the year of new beginnings where all of our dreams come true.
Lauren

"Today was a blessing"

Today was an incredible day. We were blessed with Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus today. They came to my work at the assistant living facility, where we took pictures, laughed, cried and each of us was blessed with a miracle. Believe it or not folks, but the real Santa Clause was here. I never believed in Santa until today. Seven years ago from today this ordinary man was hit by a truck. But by him being hit by this truck on this particular day, he saved 6 small children. He was clinically dead and upon returning to his mundane life, he came back as Santa Clause and that is who he is from his head to his toes, to the depths of his soul. Three months earlier Santa ran out of gas in his 1928 mold T ford right in front of our building, and today we had the honor by his presence. He brought a huge bag of stuffed animals, and every single one of them were different. He reached in what he called his "God Bag" and pulled out the perfect one for each of the residents and for all the staff. He stayed longed after the pictures were done and toys were given, and told us stories of miracles. He told us how where ever he went he always had just enough toys and candy canes, and that even when he was down to the last toy that somehow there was always more if needed. I cried and had my own little miracle siting between Santa and Mrs. Santa, for my 5 years old little girl within got a chance to have a wonderful memory of Santa Claus, one she had forgotten so long ago. It was a blessing, and it was a perfect day. WOW! There is a Santa Clause, can you believe it!

"It is good to be back!"

Hello, Hello out there! I am back. I have been sick for the past 5 days. Boy, I haven't been sick like this in over two years. It is good to be back. I have had a crazy, yet awesome day. I am so excited, I have to tell you why. First of all I want to start by telling you about my day. I am still a little under the weather, but since me and my babies (my dogs) have been cooped up for days I decided to take my babies to the dog park. This was the first time in doing so, usually I take them for a walk, but I thought the less exercise would be best, being still a little sick and all. So, what happened? It was a disaster! Trying to get two large dogs into a small truck, crazy! What was I thinking? Then I did not know exactly where the dog park was so I asked this lady walking her dog and she said "follow me it is right over there." We walked and walked and you got it and walked. When I got there it looked great, it was cloudy and cold, but because it hadn't rained in awhile, I thought it looked fine. Looks can be deceiving! Mud, yes in the middle of the dog park was mud and you can imagine how that turned out. So when I got back, my babies where clean because the mud was all over the inside of my car. I figured oh, well and off to Dos Coyotes I went with my book in hand. My eyes got tired, do to still being congested, so I left earlier than usual. When I got home, I had to start the dreaded cleaning of the kitchen, and I noticed as soon as I let my littlest baby out of his cage (Bird named gringo) he immediately flew off his cage, his cage was infested with ants, they were everywhere. It took about an hour cleaning everything up. Crazy, you should of seen me, there is a huge thick plastic mat for the floor under his cage, trying to bend that thing to take it outside was a challenge to say the least, the bird flew down the hall I kept dropping it and things flew across the room, Christmas tree ornaments, candles, when I got it outside it boomeranged from my hands and hit all the utensils from the barbecue (don't worry honey, I pick them up) and to top it off I got soaking wet from the hose, what a sight. But something was different. I was different, in the past I would have been complaining, whining and bitching how my day was ruined, so on and so on, but no today. I was happy, I put on my music and I did not let anything ruin my day. It was amazing! I mean, I wasn't stressed, not one once of complaining in my head, I was actually humming to my music. WOW! For me this was truly awesome. Then when I was almost done with drying off the birdcage, it dawned on me that I was happy, in a great mood. What was weird was I did not have to try to convince myself not to let it get to me, it just happened on it's own. I thought to myself, Lauren everything in your life is perfect and where it should be, even when shit happens! You are OK, better than OK !Yes, how cool is that!
Lauren

"Check it out!"

Hello out there! I hope everyone is doing wonderful! I have been so busy that I haven't had time to write. I actually miss it. I have a great idea for a new book, so I won't be able to write as often. my goal is to blog twice a week. My book "A Touch on the shoulder" is done and ready for print. My next step is to get a proof copy, check it over one more time. How awesome is that! I am so excited. Below is the description of my book which is printed on the back, check it out.

A Touch on the Shoulder is the true story of a woman's journey of self-discovery. It recounts the raw tales of a young woman who searches for the meaning of life and her purpose in the world. She travels the world, meeting incredible people and experiencing many amazing adventures, only to discover that the answers she sought were ultimately within herself. She faced the darkness of her past and embraced the indomitable spirit she recognized in herself. When she began writing she vowed to write from the heart and no matter what came out, she would keep it. What makes her story unique is through her exploration of her life she found something unexpected and magical, her child within. She came out with a vengeance and was allowed to express herself. This is a very honest and real narrative that will make you laugh and cry. I invite you along to share Lauren's true stories and her journey of self-discovery.
I let you know when it is ready for sale. Thank you all for your support.
Lauren

"Lets see what the future holds"

Monday was a gorgeous day. Did I tell you I love this time of year? Ha Ha! I probably repeat myself all the time. I re-read some earlier posts back in the beginning, and it reminded me why I started this blog in the first place, for my book. I wanted to share my dream of being an author with you. The whole process, all the ups and downs, and everything in between. I also wanted to be a force of inspiration in the world. Instead, I noticed lately all I have been doing is complaining. But, the truth is in life there is always twists and turns, that is life. I want to give you an update on my book. It is almost done being edited and it should be ready for print in a couple of weeks. Yes! I am excited and terrified at the same time, now I know I said that before. My next step is the marketing, hence this blog. I have know idea how many people even read these words and even how it will relate in fulfilling my dream. I have no idea what will be the outcome. I have learned one thing, I am not the driver in this story. I have seen people work their butts off never succeeding and I have seen people literally just see an opportunity and walk through the door to success, just like that. I have no problem working hard, but again, no one knows the outcome. This should be interesting. Just like the balloons yesterday, I have no idea where they will end up and if anybody will find them. I will let you know my next steps and lets see together what the future holds, shall we.
Lauren

"Balloons & wishes for everyone"

How was every bodies weekend? I celebrated my birthday on Sunday. My favorite thing in all the world is balloons, forget the jewelry, the flowers or even the chocolates, I am happy with my balloons. I bought a balloon kit, it comes with the helium, balloons, and ribbon. The smaller one is for about 30 balloons and the larger one is about 50 to 60. I got the smaller one. On Sunday morning Ernie and I blow up he balloons and my pup, Ozzy (Yes the one who ate my ottoman) was terrified of them. He kept running away, he was so cute. After we blew them up, I wrote down wishes for me and for other people who will find them. So, for example I wrote "May all your dreams come true" and "Make a wish" and I had a couple of personal wishes like "May my book be a success." etc. then I wrote "If anybody finds this please call......and left my phone number. When we let them go they looked like lolly pops dancing in the air. I asked Ernie if it was against the law to do this, and he said well if it is they have our phone number right on them. We laughed! We than watched my favorite kids movie Monsters Inc. I love that movie! It was a awesome day. I am curious how far the balloons go. I will let you know.
Lauren

"Might as well have fun, right!"

How was every bodies Thanksgiving? I worked as you know, and had a great but busy day. I started my Christmas exercises, which I made up. That was interesting to say the least. We had show and tell, where my residents brought somethings to share with the group. It was awesome! And after our Thanksgiving meal, we had a Tea Party at 2:00. 14 residents showed up, and it was wonderful. We all went around and said what we were grateful for, and then they each picked a question from a basket. The questions were something like, what was the craziest thing you ever did? To share a funny story from your childhood. It was great, we had tea and fancy tea cups, and appetizers. The other employees said"they will be too full to eat, why are you having a tea party?" Well they were wrong, they ate and we had a ball. Then, Ernie cook us a full Thanksgiving meal, and he did great. He actually cooked stuffing from scratch. It was delicious. I got some great advice from my cousin from New Mexico, and so I am not stressing over the small stuff and enjoying my life as is, and what happens, happens. I mean we can't control anything, anyway, so might as well have fun! Right!
Lauren

"Help me figure things out"

I am much better, Thanks again for the comments. So, what I have to complain to you guys to get you to comment, or what. Just kidding. To tell you the truth it could be worse I could be losing my home or have lost my job like my friend. I just need to learn how to balance my life. I know I have a great life, in fact I love my job most of the time. I just get so exciting about the future and my book that I forget to be present and enjoy the little things in life. It is amazing when I am not present, I miss the smiles from strangers, or the big yellow awesome tree right in front of me, or even my puppy's face saying "hey mom, look how cute I am" so, the truth is we do miss a lot when we are not in the now. I need balance! Didn't I just say that! Sometimes I wish I could just be happy with what I have. I mean, why do I strive for more? What is wrong with me and why do I want more? I am so grateful for what I have. I have always been like this, why me and not the people I work with, for example. They seem fine, yes, they complain a lot, and they seem to not have goals, at least they don't tell me if they do. So, why do I want to continue to grow, to learn, to experience everything I can in life, while others don't feel the need to. Why, why why??? So, I am asking for your help, how do I live in the now and balance my future dreams of making a living being an author and writing my books. I mean I do have to think about how to market my book and so many things. OK, God, help me surrender and please give me balance in my life.
Lauren

"Here we go again"

Well everybody, I have not been inspiration for awhile now. I am frustrated with so many things, like I said before everything comes at once, and I am suppose to be OK and happy in spite of it. How do you do that? We have a roof leak that drips on the electrical for the heater, we have ants, I am still dealing with the bullshit from my mortgage company and I just found out that this company has been taking $57 out of my account for the past 8 months. So, what ever you do read the fine print when you use your card on-line, or better yet don't use your card on-line. My dog just ate my ottoman and I mean it is totally destroyed. I have gained 3 pounds and can't stop eating and getting more depressed. So how in the hell, do I be in the now, and change my perception and be happy????? I don't know how people do it. I have heard it all "this too shall pass", and I am suppose to find comfort in that. OK, I know I am complaining, old habits die hard. I just hope that you guys are in a great place right now and enjoy the week. Talk with you later.
Lauren

"Wanting and Outcomes"

So, when we go through our daily lives does it seem like a lot of "ups" and "downs"? To me it seems like a cycle, sometimes things go well and we're happy and then shit happens. The saga of life. I know that I am happier more often than not, thank God! But what I want to know is do we have the power to change that? Like I have written before about whether or not we really have control over what happens in our lives, if we don't, then our only control is our reactions to what happens. Again we go back to perceptions, and how we view the things and people in our lives, which ultimately goes straight back to our "ego's mind", the rambling in our head. We run around doing all these things to try to make things turn out how we want them to turn out and when they don't, we are unhappy. I read a lot about not having attachment to outcomes, I can do that and not have attachment to specific outcomes, but I still have attachments to it turning out for my best. So, in other words I am still in the"wanting" of things and outcomes, still in the "future" of things, not being present, not surrendering, still trying to be in control. What would happen if we stop trying to control everything and live each moment and live for that day? I have been trying, I tell you right now it sure does sound nice. Question, why can't we do this? What are we afraid of? What are we giving up? Just something to think about. Comments are welcome!

Lauren

"I am not giving up!"

Today is Friday for you guys, very cool, I hope you have a great weekend. The days are going fast. A week from Sunday I will be 44 years old. Crazy, huh! Never too late to make your dreams come true. I am hoping that my book will be available in 3 weeks or less. Then I will have to think of marketing it, book tours, book fairs and anything else I can think of. Crazy, huh, it is so exciting and scary at the same time. It is hard for me to stay present when I am always thinking in the future, my book, how to do this or that. I get wrapped up in the "doing" of things that I haven't been "being" at all. I been having trouble with my weight and have been stress with that, work, it is hard. I know I need to stop and just breath and enjoy the moment, but I can't get out of my head. The question is how do I surrender? How do I just say enough is enough and just "be!". When I find the answer I will shout it to the world, but for now, here I am doing all the things that need to be done. I am not giving up on anything, I am just tired of trying to figure everything out. Maybe that is the first step to surrendering?
Lauren

"Holidays are on there way."

Well the holidays are just around the corner. I use to hate the holidays, it was all about obligation, and no one in my family seemed to really enjoy it. Now, I love them. I am working on Thanksgiving and Christmas day because I want to. I enjoy giving to my residents who don't go anywhere. We have a big Tea Party. We sit around eat appetizers, drink tea & coffee and talk about our lives. Sometimes I have questions in a basket and we each pick one and answer the questions. I love hearing stories from my residents. What is also great is when I come home on Thanksgiving day, Ernie has cooked all day and we are ready to eat. On Christmas Ernie and I celebrate on Christmas Eve. We have a ball. We told our families not to get us any gifts for Christmas and that we were not going to get them any. So, we spend all are money on each other. Ernie and I have about 20 gifts under the tree, including in our stockings. We eat our favorite appetizers, drink beer and listen to Christmas music. We love it! So, now I get excited on the holidays. I love creating new memories. So, what are you doing for the Holidays? It is never too late to created new traditions and new memories.
Lauren

"Need your help on this one"

It is hard to see people close to you go through hard times. My friend has lost her job, after working at the job core for nine years as a teacher, she just lost her house. It has just been put on the market by the bank. She can't find a apartment because her credit is bad because she can't pay the credit card companies because she lost her job. She finally took a chance after 25 years and gave her heart to a guy and lost him all this in the past 9 months. What is up with that???? I don't know what the universe is trying to tell her, but man, what can you say????? All that I came up was, you need to surrender now to the pain or you will have a heart attack. She is trying to "go with the flow" of things, but right now all I see is my friend in pain, with no rhyme and no reason. It just make you think, do we have a choice in anything in our lives? Who is really in control here, it sure isn't us! I think if we think about the "whys" all the time, our heads would explode! Maybe there is no rhyme or reason in anything we do? I mean do we have control in our lives? That is the question???? Scary, huh!!!!
Just something to think about. If anyone has any ideas on the subject please let me know.
Lauren

"Dragonflies, insects of light"

Today I was at my spot at Dos Coyote's, yeah I know, I love it there! I don't remember if I told you the story about how a blue dragonfly twice landed on my book to say hello. It happened over a period of a month. Well today I was thinking that I haven't seen my little friend lately, I wonder where he was. I thought to myself, maybe the weather is too cold this time of year. At that moment there he was, a blue dragonfly, just flew by right in front of me. I was so delighted, I just laughed out loud. I continue to read and eat my salad, when again I thought where is he, and boom there he was again. Four times, when I thought of him he appeared. What a gift, I always view wonderful things like this as a gift, and I am full of gratitude. I have a book called "Animal Speaks" it talks about the symbolism of animals and insects in various cultures, for fun I looked up dragonfly. It said they help you see through your illusions and thus allow your own light to shine forth. Now, how cool is that. So, thank you my little friend!
Lauren

"Veteran's day from the heart."

I had a hard time planning my Veteran's day event, I had one poem, music and certificates for each of our veterans, but I felt something was missing. I was searching the Internet for something else to say, but could not find anything. So I decided to write something my self and here it is.

I cannot imagine what war is like, all the sacrifices that our men, women and children make for one reason "Freedom". Freedom, for me, means having possibilities.
The possibilities:

To have children, and see them grow
To live in a country where I can make my dreams come true.
To grow old without fear.
And the possibility for peace.

For me all of you gave me a gift, of all of these possibilities. Whether you were on the battlefield, or waiting to be deployed, all of you were willing to do what was necessary for me, for them (pointing to residents & staff) and for future generations.

I want to personally thank you.

Have a great weekend!
Lauren

"it is just one of those days"

I am tired today, I slammed my finger in the sliding glass door this morning, and I am nervous about this Veteran's day celebration. I have done so many events, why veteran's day? It has been a disaster from the very beginning, for 8 weeks I have been trying to get someone to come to do a ceremony, my boss wanted this, and everything has gone wrong that could go wrong. I had the music, I lost the music, we were going to make certificates, the day before the women who was going to make the certificates, said my program doesn't have "patriotic" certificates. On and on it went, now the day is here, and who knows what will happen. I have been in my head all week, about my book, this event. I hate when this happens. Like I said I know I am doing it to myself, it is all about perceptions, right well mine are totally down the wrong road. I hope that you guys are having a great week, feel free to tell me about it. I want to hear something good!!! OK, I have complained enough. Thanks for listening.
Lauren

"What is the truth?"

My friend, Pam and I are reading this book called From Onions to Pearls. This man was very rich with private planes and all of that and he started up with drugs and dealing them. He was caught and sent to prison for 7 years. He wrote about what happened to him spiritually and what he learned. I tell you, WHAT IS THE TRUTH? Some people think only through Jesus you can be saved and everybody else is going to hell, some believe in Buddha, Mohammad, and I believe that God has no religion! Now this guy, says that yes, we are all one, all spirit, but that all this is a dream and "spirit", which is us, is having all these experiences of limitations & freedoms. Meaning God is unlimited, joy, love and he/she/it/us, is experiencing what it is like to be limited, the human condition of pain/joy etc. So death doesn't matter because none of this is real, and we can't die. He also says God, gives us a glimpse of this through our dreams. Our dreams seems so real, and when we experience pain and wake up, we are OK, nothing has actually happened to us. Now, I am not saying I believe in this stuff, I haven't finished the book yet, but shit, WHAT IS THE TRUTH? Do you ever wonder?
Lauren

"Anybody out there?"

Well, my friends it has been a busy couple of days. I get stressed during these months (Oct. Nov. and Dec) I know I am probably doing it to myself, but man when it rain it pours. I miss yesterdays post, and I've been beating my self over the head about it. Where did that expression come from, "beating myself over the head", why would anybody do that? I always wonder where these odd expressions come from. I tell you the things we think about, I am surprised that more people aren't insane, with all the stuff that goes through our heads. I hope you guys had a great weekend. Monday was a beautiful day, the trees were perfect! When my friend and I were leaving Dos Coyote's, there were hundreds of seagulls over head, just circling, it was amazing some were farther away some were right over our heads, we just stood there and watched. I appreciate the little things in life, seagulls over head, the color of the trees, a squirrel doing its thing, and smile from strangers. See, I was in my head, it sounded like a good weekend to me. I feel better just writing. I don't know if anybody still reads these posts, but it really help me. So if your out there thanks for listening.
Lauren

"Surrender!"

Can you believe I am on day 100. How crazy is that? It is Friday for most of you out there. I hope you have a great weekend. Take time to enjoy the fall colors out and about. This is my favorite time of year. I love it!!! The vibrant colors of the trees, the freshness of the air, and if you notice the sun's light is even different. I am feeling great right at this moment. How are you feeling right at this moment? If you are feeling wonderful, take time and really feel the moment. Take a few deep breaths and just be, it feels great. If you are struggling with stress or emotions, take a minute and think how you can change that right this minute. Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and visualize white light surrounding you, notice your breath going in and out, and know that every breath you take is the breath of God. You are perfect right now, the stress in your life is not you, the daily worries are not you. Just be in the light, and know that you are love and you can choose right now to be that light that you are. So shine bright my friends and know this when things get real bad, surrender to it! Embrace the pain, let it guide you and it will catapult you to a new beginning that will change your life for the better. Now go and have a great weekend.
Lauren

"Turning 44!"

It is one of those days where I don't know what to write. I am trying to be present but I was a little annoyed by a co-worker, and I have to let it go and be in the now. Sometimes it is hard, but as I write I am slowly feeling calmer. Maybe that is one way, a tool to help me get out of our head. I think each of us should find what works for us. Whether it is going outside for a few minute, and just be in the moment or write about something you love. You can talk to another co-worker about your one year old pup who is absolutely adorable. Whatever you need to do, to get back to yourself, and not dwell on the drama around you. Thinking about my Ozzy boy makes me smile, and I can feel myself instantly change for the better. I am going to be 44 this month, the time is ticking by so fast. I can dwell on the fact that I am not where I wanted to be at age 44, or I can choose right now to go with the flow and know that everything is where it is suppose to be. I know that everything will turn out wonderful, or maybe I should say it is pretty dang wonderful right now. My goals may not turn out like I want them to, but I have a feeling it will turn out better than I can imagine. How cool it that.
Lauren

"He shines with Love & Joy"

I have been observing my pup, Ozzy, who is now a year old. He was just neutered on Monday. Not only does he have stitches, but he has a rash that he has been constantly biting and scratching. Now he has to where this giant cone thing around his head for 2 weeks. My poor baby, you should have seen him after his operation. He couldn't even lift his head. I thought to myself, this poor baby will have to suffer for 2 weeks. The next day after his operation I couldn't believe my eyes. He was waging his tale, and back to his normal self. As I watched him, he was running into walls, tables, furniture and trying to get out of the doggy door. But he adapted, he has not let this big, awkward cone thing get in his way. He just shakes his head, and goes a different way. Nothing stops him, he amazes me. Why can't we be like that? I expected him to whine and give me those innocent puppy eyes, "mom, help me?" but no! We can definitely learn from animals. I have learned from him, not to let anything get in the way in having a good day, be adaptable and always keep the light within. My baby has so much light, he shines with love and joy. I am so grateful to have him in my life.
Lauren

"Words from, where?"

I wrote this on Sunday, the words came to me while driving and I had to pull over to write them done.

God, please let me know that you are there,

once I know you, my life will be perfect in the

knowledge of you.

My child, I have brought light into your world

and shined from above,

I sing to you daily from the birds in the sky to the

wind blowing though the trees.

I give you gifts of flowers and wheat fields,

and you still do not see me.

I am your first breath you take from birth,

and you still do not feel me.

I am everywhere, what more can I do?

To know me is to know yourself,

for I am also you!

I have no idea where the words came from. I Just began to write them.

How crazy is that. I just wanted to share these words with you.

Lauren

"One day it becomes a pearl"

I went to my power of now meeting. We did an exercise where we sat in silence. The first time was for five minutes and the second was for 10 minutes. I used to hate silence, at night when I was a child when the house was quiet, "he would come", my perpetrator would come to me. For years I could not be in a quiet place, or I would feel uncomfortable in silent moments of the conversation. But now, it is different, because I am different. I love silence and can sit in peace with my self. In the meeting the point of the exercise was to observe our inner voice, what it was saying and doing. I sat in silence for awhile noticing the back ground noise, the people in the group, and my mind was quiet. Than, I thought to my self "Alex has nice shoes", "look at that small chair", and then my mind took off thinking of my book, colors of the room, wondering how other people were doing. So the first exercise did not go too well. The second time we were told to try to stop the chatter in our head, each time and stay in the silence. I was in silence and present for a long time, then I got excited and thought to myself "I am doing it! yeah" and the thoughts came pouring in, I did not even realize it. Then I stopped got back to being present and 10 minutes went by so fast I could not believe it. It is crazy, we must be thinking every second of the day, how sad is that. It is like an oyster daily grinding away at that piece of sand and one day it becomes a pearl. I'm grinding!!!!
Lauren

"Being ready for a teacher"

I love Wayne Dyer's book "Inspiration, The Ultimate Calling". The last couple of chapters were my favorite. He talks about four ways to connecting with spirit, or inspiration. 1. Connection to feelings: which in his words I'm aligned with spirit, when I ask myself the honest response to "Does this (or will this) make me feel good. (God) 2. Connection to Nature: Everything in nature is in-spirit it is not spoiled by ego, nor can ever be. He says for example when a wild bird touches us, or a fish brushes up against us while swimming we should pay attention, that is a direct communication from our source of being. Messages to help us connect to spirit. 3. Connections to Events: that is there is no such thing is coincidences, everything happens for a reason, pay attention. 4. Connections with people: this is when we think about a person we haven't thought of in years and then they call out of the blue. We should definitely take note. Why are these important because teachers come in many forms, weather it is a feeling, in nature, a strange event or even a person. Let us learn from spirit and live a life in-spirit. OK, now am I getting to weird for you or what. Hey you never know, lets look beyond our eyes, past the ego you may be surprised at what you find.
Lauren

"How can we be anything less"

This is a Chinook blessing, which shows the Native American's relationship with nature and Great Spirit. I wanted to share this with you, I love it.

We call upon the earth, our planet home, with its beautiful depths and soaring heights,

its vitality and abundance of life, and together we ask that it:

Teach us, and show us the way.

We call upon the mountains, the Cascades and the Olympics,

the high green valleys and meadows filled with wild flowers,

the snows that never melt, the summits of intense silence, and we ask that they:

Teach us, and show us the way.

We call upon the waters that rim the earth, horizon to horizon,

that flow in our rivers and streams,

that fall upon our gardens and fields, and ask that they:

Teach us, and show us the way.

We call upon the land which grows our food,

the nurturing soil, the fertile fields,

the abundant gardens and orchards, and we ask that they:

Teach us, and show us the way.

We call upon the forests, the great trees reaching strongly to the sky

with earth in their roots and the heavens in their branches,

the fir and the pine and the cedar, and we ask them to:

Teach us, and show us the way.

We call upon the creatures of the fields and forests and the seas,

our brothers and sisters, the wolves and deer, the eagle and dove,

the great whales and the dolphin, the beautiful orca and salmon

who share our Northwest home, and we ask them to:

Teach us, and show us the way.

We call upon all those who have lived on this earth,

our ancestors, and our friends, who dreamed the best for future generations

and upon whose lives our lives are built,

and with thanksgiving, we call upon them to:

Teach us, and show us the way.

And lastly, we call upon all that we hold most sacred,

the presence and power of the Great Spirit of love

and truth which flows through all the universe . . . to be with us to:

Teach us, and show us the way.

Don't you see, everything that God creates is beautiful and perfect how can we be anything less. Lauren

"living a life In-Spirit"

Monday was an incredible day for me. The sky was so clear and blue. The colors of the trees are starting to change for fall. Fall is my favorite time of year. All the colors, and the light from the sun is different, it seems more vibrant to me. I am in a good space, a space between the self and God, where everything flows. I guess you can say right at this moment I am at a higher state, it is where the ego can not exist. I want to write about "being", it is difficult to be present all the time. But today I realized that trying to be present was hard for me. I kept going in and out of the ego's mind and being present. I discovered that we have a choice every moment, and that co-exists with being in the now. By being present it is easier to choose how to react in the next moment. For example, we can choose to send love to the person at work that drives us crazy, instead of judging them, we can choose to take a step back when everyone around us is running around stressed out, and not let it consume us. If I can remember that I have a choice in my reaction to every situation, than I am the only one to blame if I have a bad day. I can not blame anyone else, or have the right to judge them. I choose to live in-spirit. What does that mean? It means I am trying to live in a higher vibration of energy which consist of love, joy, peace and laughter. The low vibrations of energy such is anger, hate, blame, and discontent only attracts exactly that. If you hate, that is what you attract. It is simply the law of attraction. If you want love in your life, be that and choose to give that to others. It is simple really surround them in white light and let be who they are. Do not judge them, they are only in pain, so send them love and peace. The more you are present the more you are in-spirit, the more you are in-spirit the more you are present. I have been avoiding talking about this subject, the part about "being in- spirit, I guess out of fear, but I am letting it all out, because I see God everywhere, I see beauty and I see awe. I know this is not the conventional way of looking at things, but everything that I will talk about has brought me to an incredible place. I am sharing from my heart and at this very moment I am in-spirit.
Lauren

"People are interesting"

I hope everyone had a glorious weekend. It was pouring rain on Sunday, so my husband and I watched the Borne Identity Trilogy and hung out in our pajamas. It was awesome! I watched a show the other day and one of the characters said" there are two types of people, one of having and the other of being." He went on to explain the "having" people live their lives acquiring things, while the "being" people live for the experiences and sharing with others. I thought that was great. I honestly believe it is true. The question is can you be both? I think you can but there is one more dominant then the other. I definitely live for the experiences, but the most important "things" in my life, well, I wouldn't exactly call them things are my pets. But then again my relationship with them is an experience. This is very interesting to me. The character finished the conversation by saying that in 1960 public storage's did not exist and now there are 2.35 billion square footage of self storage units in the United States. (I had my husband look up the info from the program) Can you believe it. Life and people are so interesting. I find myself instead of judging them being in awe of how interesting and different we are. Or maybe that is just a polite way to judge. Who knows?
Lauren

"Brighten up your day"

Today is Friday! I know that makes a lot of people happy. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Let's do something a little special this weekend, shall we. A while ago I wrote about random acts of kindness. Let do that again, spread some joy to our fellow human beings. Some times I get free coupons for a item at the grocery store and I give it to another costumer and it doesn't cost me anything. Buy someone a cup of coffee, or when you think something positive about someone else tell them even if they are strangers. If you like their earrings, tell them, if you like the shirt they are wearing, let them know. You will see them light up, and it is a great opener for a conversation. Or you can do something easy like smile to a homeless person, most people turn away. Be creative, keep it simple, or go for it. Not only will it make the other person happy it will brighten up your day as well. Have fun, and dance in the rain!
Lauren

"Sounds easy"

I gave my first speech last night at Toastmasters. Everyone had good things to say, but I was unhappy with it. The first speech is always about the person's life. Sounds easy, but I was nervous. I did not say what I wanted to say and did not stick to my notes. Every time I would look at my notes I did not know where I was, and I did not want to stand there looking at them. The reason why I am doing Toastmaster is to help improve on my workshops for women. I am starting up my workshops again in January. So, now the question is am I being in my head and beating myself up, or am I honest with myself that I need improvement. Maybe a little of both.
I asked the group if I would be allowed to practice my presentations that I will be doing in my workshops and they gave me the OK. I am noticing the rambling in my head, "but there are men there", "they wouldn't get it" "what are you doing!" "you will make an ass out of yourself." I am so sick of that voice in my head, always putting me down. That is not me, and I know that. I am so glad I am aware of it, and not letting it take over my life. Here's to not letting the ego's mind get in the way of our lives.
Lauren

"What will I be today?"

Another day has gone by. It was better than I expected, but I wasn't as happy as usual. I feel like I am fighting a cold. So in other words I was not very inspirational yesterday. But, because it is another day, now I can start over and be what I want to be for today. Today I will be inspiration & patience! Is it that easy to choose what we want to be? Can we say today I will be........., and make that happen? I think so. I think we have the power to be whatever we want to be. We just have to stop getting in the way of ourselves. I was so in my head yesterday, I ruin a perfectly good day. I am giving my first speech tonight at "Toastmasters". The topic is ourselves and my title is "my journey to self discovery". I will talk about my journey up to now. It is funny I talk about searching outside myself and ultimately finding all the answers in me. But what does that really mean. We here it all the time. For me it just mean acceptance of one's self, and knowing that you are perfect the way you are. Perfections does not necessarily mean thin, beautiful and rich. It is finding the beauty in everything, once you can do that then you are truly free from discontent.
Lauren

"Lets see if I can."

Well guys, I can't seem to get out of my head. I feel hopeless, and defeated. I mean I know I won't give up on my dream, but at this moment I just want to hide out in my room and not worry about a damn thing. I have been running the same recording in my head "it is not fair!" over and over again. Doubting everything that I am. I can't seem to get out. It is weird, for the past 6 months is has been getting easier, but not these past few days. My body is aligned with my head, just like on my bike ride. I hate when this happens. I have to go and be happy and energetic with my residents in a few minutes. Damn! Who knows maybe they can help me get out of my funk. What do you do when this happens to you? Does it ruin your week? Can you get out of it quickly? Lets see if I can. Boy, I hope so, or else this will be a long week.
Lauren

"It could have been a wonderful bike ride."

I went on a bike ride on Sunday. It started raining in the morning and I thought my husband said it will be raining until around 11:00 am. So I was happy with the excuse for not bike riding because I had to be somewhere around noon. So I was working on the table of contents and copyright page of my book. Then he said "Are you done yet, the rain stopped lets go bike riding." I was not in the mood, and started complaining and being totally in "ego mode" then he gave me some other news that his car was stalling and had to be looked at. I thought "oh no!, more money to throw away" So, now I am really racing in my head. I had the most miserable bike ride ever, not only did it seem like it lasted forever, it was like my body did not want to work. No matter how hard I tried to push myself, I had no energy, it was way more difficult than before. I was in my head the whole time and it effected everything. I finally said to myself, "that is enough! we are not having a pity party, so stop it!" But by then it was too late, my body was aligned with the ego, and when I finally was getting out of it, the bike ride was over. What a waste of energy, time and what could of been a wonderful bike ride. Just a another example of how the ego took over and I lost myself. Well, not next time!
Lauren

"It is a miracle!"

It has been a crazy day. I worked today and we had our annual Western Day Event. I was the host and we had over 150 people. We had a big Bar-B-Q, raffles, and line dancer came to preform. It was awesome. I love seeing people happy and together as one. We worked together and everything flowed, people were smiling, families were laughing. Now that is a wonderful thing. Have you notice the energy when large groups of people are happy and experiencing the same magic. It really is amazing. I remember going to see Bet Milder with my cousin, and I felt so connected and so alive. Every one at that moment was in this perfect place of awe. It is a wonderful feeling. So, for this to happen at a work place is a miracle. YEAH! Wouldn't it be wonderful to have that feeling in the work place. Why can't we? Is it possible? To tell you the truth I am usually very optimistic, but I don't know if it can be done. Prove me wrong people, please prove me wrong and show me that a work place can be a place where people are in great mood, with plenty of laughter. I will make that a wish for everyone!
Lauren

"The Power of Now"

I have been trying to figure out what to write about because I did not want to bore you with me working on being present and in the now. But that is my life at the present moment so I decided to stay true to me and my experiences. I have been going to power of now meetings. It is a group of people who are working on being present and in the moment. It is a wonderful group we talk about our experiences, and we have a leader that motivates us with ideas to keep us in the moment. I know I have talked about this before many times, but I really haven't gone in detail. You know when you are driving from point A to point B, and the next thing you know you are have arrived and you have know idea how you got there. It is as if you were not awake at all. We live life like that from day to day. Being present allows us to connect to who we really are, our true selves. Our ego thinks it is in charge and pretty much will rule our lives if we let it. Our ego's mind complains about everything, judges, lies, and is constantly putting us down and others. That is not who we are. One of our new members of the power of now group explained it well. She said we are a drop of water in the ocean. We are separate and yet one. But the ego is the one that thinks we are separate, the truth is we are not. So, I struggle from day to day to catch my self being in my head, and am working toward living in a life of peace. It is working but it takes time and patience. You know how I don't like that patience thing, so I guess I learning that too.
Lauren

"We can learn from others"

I believe that we can learn about ourselves through others. I call it "the mirror effect". We can learn a lot about ourselves from the company we keep. For example: if your boyfriend is abusive and belligerent to you, that may "mirror" that you were taught to be a victim and has a low self-esteem. If your friends are well adjusted and confident, then whether you realize it or not you are too. This is a good way to learn about ourselves to see if there is anything we want to work on. I do this often. One person who drove me crazy was a women who had so much energy and never listen. Then one day someone said she is just like you, I was upset but realized, oh my God, it was true. I did not like seeing myself in a "mirror", so I still have a lot of energy but now I take time to really listen. So when someone shows up in your life and pushes your buttons, take a few minutes and see what you can learn. It may mean that at that moment you are being judgmental, or that person reminds you of someone from your past. It can also be positive if you admire someone for being creative, there is a good chance you are too, in ways you don't realize. Check it out, have fun with it, and let me know what happen.

Louis Armstrong Lyrics, What a Wonderful World Lyrics >>

Louis Armstrong Lyrics, What a Wonderful World Lyrics >>:
"I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' 'How do you do?'
They're really saying 'I love you'

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Oh yeah!"

"Lets start thriving, shall we"

I want talk about "surviving" vs. "thriving". I believe that society teaches us to merely survive. They say basically get a job, get married and have children. Now, don't get me wrong that sounds like a great little life. However, we don't live in a society that teaches us to thrive. Not one teacher I ever met asked me "what is you passion?" They only taught us English, Math, etc. the basics for survival. I mean, look at organizations for helping people, like WEAVE, or drug and alcohol programs, again, survival, get out, get clean, get a job. You tell me, do you know of any high school or programs that takes it to the next level and teach people to thrive. So, now the question is what would the world look like if we were all thriving. We would have jobs that we love, because the people that ran the organizations would have been taught differently, they would know how important the work place needed to be for their employee. We would follow are passions because the teachers at school would help us find our strengths and help them flourish. We would have organizations that would help victims (which would be less of by the way) and show them all the possibilities there are in the world. It is never to late to change. Even if it is baby steps. Lets start thriving, shall we.

Lauren

"I Don't Just Want to Survive, I Want to Thrive!"

Hello world!!!! I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. I have started the publishing process on my book, and working on a press release. Scary and exciting at the same time. And, of course I am observing the voice in my head, boy it is in full throttle. I am just laughing at my self and all the nonsense it is saying. Lauren, no body will like it. You think you can write but the teachers were right and you can't. People will know your darkest secrets, are you STUPID OR WHAT!!!!! And it goes on and on. But I have to take the chance. There is no such thing as failure as long as you 1. learn from the experience and 2. never give up. I hope I have the stamina on the never give up part. I mean, the chapters I have shared so far are nothing compared to whats coming. My next chapter is about my molest, and It is a scary thing to broad cast to the world. Ok, now I am in my head again. I have to remind my self why I wanted to do this in the first place. We are not alone out there, and even though we all have had different experience, we know what it feels like to be sad, hopeless, scared, angry, and we know what laughter and joy is. So, in that perspective we are similar. The only way to face what is ahead is to go"through it", unless you choose to avoid it. I rather go "through" and get it over with. Every time I try to avoid something it ends up crashing down all around me. So, I believe that in sharing my experience I can inspire others that they to can face their pain and not just survive in this world but thrive and to remind them that they are not alone.
Lauren

"It is all about the journey!"

"The only journey is the journey within."

Rainer Maria Rilke

"Yes, know thyself: it great concerns or small,

Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all."

Juvenal

"Insist on yourself. Never imitate."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."

Aristotle

"Your real influence is measured by your treatment of yourself."

A. Bronson Alcott

"If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves."

Thomas Edison

Lauren

"Going with the flow of things"

I have had a great week. I feel at peace. It is a new feeling for me. I mean, I have felt peace within from time to time, especially in nature, but not at work or during my daily routine. I love it! I still have stuff going on in my head, that does not stop. Did you know that? The chatter in our head never really stops, it just becomes quieter as we find the inner peace. At least that's what people say. I did something crazy the other day, my husband and friend thought it was a mean thing to do. I did not think so, I just went with the flow of things. About a year ago as I was driving to Dos Coyotes, I heard a voice that said for me to turn right, and I felt as though I was lead to the cemetery, weird huh. I did not know why I was there and was complaining in my head how ridiculous this was. No one was there except for one lady sitting next to a grave, I went and talked with her telling her that I was lead here and did not know why. I came to find out that lady had just lost her 21 year old son named Jacob. I don't remember much what I said to her and went on my merry way. Never thought of her and her son again. One year later for about a week, every time I would drive by I thought of them, I even forgot their names and the next thing I knew their names just popped in my head. I had recently bought a beautiful butterfly pendent and wanted to do something special with it. It was still in my purse for two weeks. I wanted that pendant, it cost me $34 but some how, I was again led to the cemetery looking for Jacobs grave. I found it, and I actually left the pendant in a box for Jacob's mom. What was weird was just a week later was the anniversary of his death. I wrote to Tammy love Jacob. I felt strange about what I did, because of what my husband said, but later that day while hosing off the patio a butterfly was dancing right by me, literally at arms length, and I swore I heard a voice that said, "thank you", I know it sound weird, but I think it was Jacob, OK, so now you know, I am pretty nutty! I hope one day I run into Tammy and see her wearing that pendant, of course I would never tell her that it was me who put it on Jacob's grave, but I still hear that voice in my head "that was mean", so I hope she was happy and everything turned out well.
Lauren

"This is so cool!"

I am having a great week. My co-workers have been stressed running around the place, they have been moody, gossiping and I am still great. I am actually doing it, not letting outside drama get to me and ruin my day. I could never do that before, I would let them take my energy, and get just as stressed. How cool is that! Another thing that I have noticed is the two co-workers that I disliked, one who's was so hyper she drove me nuts, the other I perceived as a snooty, conceited bitch that look down on others, I have embraced both of them. I did this several weeks ago, and now it is actually working, I have accepted them and my first perceptions where wrong. Now, I laugh at the hyper one that has been so disruptive, and I join her and together we make the residents laugh. The other lady was more difficult, every time I knew she would be working, I thought to myself, oh no, there goes my day. Not true, I changed the way I looked at her, and looked past my perceptions, and now we laugh and we now support each other. It is so cool. This can work, we can make our work places enjoyable and a happier place. Just remember we don't know what is going on in the lives of others, and why they do the things they do, we relate to them only through our perceptions. The truth is most of the time our first perceptions are wrong.

Lauren

"Love the people that drive you crazy"

If anybody wants to ask any questions, or want me to talk about certain topics please feel free to ask. Everything I share with you is basically my point of view what I have learned in 43 years being on this planet. At one point in my life I did not believe in God, was angry at the world, and even hated being human. Now, I love people and have a close connection with God, with nature and with my self. Sometimes I think people have a misconception of "discovering" their selves. It is almost as if people think, when I am whole life will be perfect and I will always be happy. That is not the case. We still have to pay the bills, work, and have the normal stresses of life. The difference is how we handle them. Even though my life is different from my past and I am happier, I still struggle, that is life. I think that it will get easier as I practice what I preach. Remember the book "Eat, Pray, Love" the author was on Oprah, and the women in the audience amazed me, they actually thought if I can have what she has, my life would be perfect. One lady even went to Bali to do the exact same thing. Like I said before, it comes from within, and we have the opportunity to be happy and at peace right now, by changing the way we think about ourselves, others and the world around us. I know I keep writing about the same things, but it is so important. Love yourself, love the world and even love the people that drive you crazy. It works.
Lauren

"just a little something I wrote"

I had an incredible weekend. I was sitting at Dos Coyotes and wrote a little something. I just want to share it with you.

As I sit, I am fully present. The dance of life reveals itself.
I hear the background noise of the cars passing by,
A child's voice and innocence prevails.
The sky is so blue, crisp and clear,
The clouds drift by above the world below,
And of course my beloved wind Goddess conducts the symphony,
While the trees dance, dragonflies play, and the birds stop by to say hello.
The chatter of people fades in and out, I feel elated, I am a silent force, quiet,
Yet complete, one with all of this,
As I sit in wonder of it all, I am whole.
This is what being presents feel like.
"oh what a wonderful world"
Lauren

"How do you see the world?"

My book, "A touch on the Shoulder"is about a journey of self-discovery. While growing up I never fit in. I was always searching for a place to belong, asking the questions who am I? What is my purpose? Why am I here? I traveled the world, meet incredible people and had the adventure of a life time. But the answers to all the questions in my head did not come from searching outside myself, it came from within. I searched for over 35 years outside myself. I know you all heard this before that the answers lies within ourselves, but because we are human we have to discover that on our own. I have read inspiring books, went to incredible seminars, and meet wonderful insightful people, but YOU have all the answers already. The truth is it is a life time of discoveries. That is actually is not a bad thing, it is a wonderful thing. To be in a continual awe your whole life, even when your 80, now that is amazing. There is only one truth we come from God, we are perfect right now. So, you may ask than whats with all the questions and searching? Because God created each of us as an unique being to create a life of our choosing and some where along the line we forgot that. It doesn't matter if we choose to live a simple life of joy with our spouse, have a family, be an author, or be Oprah. As long as you are in awe of a flower when your 80 years old, you will be just fine. Because in that flower is a refection of you, actually how you see that flower is a reflection of you. How you see the world, the people around you is all a reflection of you. So if you see beauty in the world, that comes from within. How do I know this because for over 35 years I only saw a world of pain, suffering and despair. The world hasn't changed, I have, and now I see beauty, joy, excitement, and a little suffering when I am in my head. Hey, it is a work in progress. So, my friends how do you see the world?
Lauren

"What is a "pain body"?"

Do you ever get nervous in the pit of your stomach? Tolle, calls it the "pain body", this happens when you feel anxiety, sadness, anger, etc. and it manifests in the body, mine is in my stomach. Other people feel it in their heart, their head or where ever. I have been totally aware when it occurs. Most of the time I know what triggers it, sometimes I don't. But what is fascinating is when I know why it happens, the reasons are so absurd. Once I felt it because I say a certain person e-mailed me, and even before I read it, my stomach was in turmoil. By the way the e-mail was positive and fine. So what is up with that? Then one time I had no idea why I was in the"pain body", It got worse because I was trying to figure out the why? I noticed how we get our selves worked up for absolutely nothing. It amazes me what we do that to ourselves. I mean, I know we don't like to suffer, but we sure do it to ourselves over and over again. I am learning to observe the feeling in my stomach, get out of my head (which makes it worse) and then it just drifts away. It is pretty cool, when you can notice these things, catch them and make positive changes. I just need to 1. Be me, no matter what 2. Stay out of my head and judgments and 3. Accept others and send them love. I am trying on a daily basis to do this, not so easy, but I am getting better. Yeah!
Lauren

"What I wish for"

Every morning at 9:30 I lead the exercises for my residents. These are new exercises I made up with Rock N Roll music. What I love is the fact that for 30 min. I am so connected to these incredible human beings. We are one entity, together feeling happy and alive. The last song is "What a Wonderful World" and you can feel the energy in the room, of peace and love. When I look into their eyes I see beyond their bodies, I see them, their true selves, their soul full of love. And then after we clap and cheer the experience is gone. We are back as individuals going along the road of life with our normal routines. We still enjoy each others company when we play UNO, or bean bag toss, but it is not the same. For 30 minutes a day I know what it means to be a part of something big, being connected to something deeper than just any one person. This is who we truly are, not this body, or ego, but the true self. The true self of being a piece of God. So, when I continue to talk about being present and the ego's mind it is because it is so important. I wish everyone could truly see who they really are. Now that would be a wonderful world.
Lauren

"Are you your best friend?"

How many of us obsess over things? I have been obsessing for over six weeks. As you already know, I have been trying to lose weight and been riding my bike like crazy. Still nothing, well I did pig out for three days after 5 weeks of not losing anything. But, I realize it is such a waste of time to obsess about it. I have not be present, and have missed so much. How often do we do this in life, if it is not one thing it is another. Not only do we obsess, we worry, get frustrated about things we cannot control. It is crazy! What amazes me is we do this to ourselves, no one does it to us. Why do we do this to ourselves? Do we want to suffer? Someone told me once that people would rather suffer because at least it is something they know vrs. the unknown. I don't get it. I want to live life to the fullest. I love the unknown, I think it is exciting and it is a heck a lot better than suffering. I remember writing before about how we need to be are best friends instead of our worst enemies. Are you your best friends? I am most of the time, but not lately. Lets spoil ourselves rotten and enjoy life, shall we.
Lauren

"The "shoulds" in life"

How is everybody doing today? I hope you all are having a great week! If you are not, how can you change that? Can you look at a situation differently? Can you let it go? Sometimes it is hard when things don't go the way they should. Notice the word I used,"should". This is one word that will give us all a head ache. Pay attention when you use or think of this word. Why? Because the truth is the word "should" is what we use to put our beliefs or values onto someone else. He "should" be doing this that way, she "should" know better not to do that. They "should" be treating me better. No one should be doing anything but be themselves. We don't realize how totally different we are as human beings. I hate it when someone tells me "it is common sense", for who, for them? There are so many different ways to do things, different beliefs, values, cultures etc. I have to stop myself because I put "should" on other people as well. When I stop and ask someone why they do things the way they do, I actually learn something. So, check it out and see how many "shoulds" you find yourself saying or thinking. You "should" do this, NOT, only if you want too.
Lauren

"An Angel named Ozzy"

I have a new angel in my life. His name is Ozzy, I got him at the dollar store. Well, it was actually in front of the dollar store for $10. He was an adorable 5 week old puppy, all white. He is half Lab and half Austrian Shepard. I now have 9 pets; 3 cats, 2 dogs, 3 ducks, and one African Grey parrot. Each give me such joy. But there is something different about this dog. I haven't felt this way about an animal since Gremlin died. Gremlin was my wise little soul, and Ozzy helps me get in touch with my child within. He is innocent, trusting, playful, loving, just like a child. Something that is foreign to me. I love him so much. I use to dislike kids and in the past I would not have had much patience for my little boy. But, now I am different, I love everything he is and accept him for who he is. I love it when you learn something about yourself. Ozzy did that for me he was my mirror. He showed me that I had changed, and grown a lot over the past two years. He has taught me patience and unconditional love. Each of my pets have given me something wonderful. Gringo (the parrot) brings laughter into my life, the ducks taught me acceptance, Chimay (my other dog) has given undivided loyalty, and my cats give me plenty of lovin'. Aren't pets wonderful! I am so grateful for my little friends they are such a blessing.

Lauren

"A cat named Gremlin"

Before I was married I lived alone and I was going through some difficult times. I was struggling to survive, not just financially but from the depth of my soul. I felt alone, and I had ideas of suicide, I know I would never actually do it. But, boy I hated life. The one thing that kept me going was my cat, Gremlin. I believe that our pets are angels sent from God. Yes, I said it! And I actually believe it. He was an incredible little soul. When I looked into his eyes, I saw something I had never seen before, and never seen since. A deep connection, I believe we were actually looking at each others spirits. Some people think only humans have souls, not me, when I looked at this incredible animal he spoke to me. Not like words, but from a deep knowing or understanding. I loved him more than anything. I lived in an apartment, and one day I promised him I would live in a house and he would have a yard, and grass just for him. Well, after I meet my husband and the world around me got way better, I finally got that back yard I promised him. He had a ball just exploring his little world. One day while I was sitting on a lounge chair reading my book, he came up to me and laid on my belly, and we looked at each other, and right at that moment again I saw it, from that deep place within, he said "thank you", I know I may sound crazy but I saw the gratitude in his eyes. In 2005 my little friend was diagnosed with cancer, we did not know how long he had. But, I knew he stilled had life in him so we would spend our time outside in his yard, on the grass together. On day, while he was laying on the futon in the guest bedroom, I saw it in his eyes that he was ready. I thanked him for everything he had given me. I told my husband to say his goodbyes, and the next day, both my husband and I stood by his side while he silently left this earth. I think of the quote my friend told me by Dr. Seuss "Don't smile because it is over, smile because it happened." Gremlin was my angel, he was a wise little soul that gave me strength, love and hope. I have no idea why I am writing this to you today, but something was guiding me today for reasons unknown, maybe it was Gremlin.
Lauren

"Oh the wise and young"

What excites you? Do you remember when you were a kid and everything excited you? All you wanted to do was explore and you were so curious about the world around you. We, as adults lost that. We lost our anticipation, our curiosity and our excitement for our surroundings. Why? Because we grew up, we have to be responsible, and take care of our kids. NO! that is not why. Some how a long time ago, someone taught us THIS IS HOW IT IS! The truth is it is not. We have a choice to live life the way we want to live it. There is a whole world out there to be excited about, so many things to learn and explore. Yes, we have to pay the bills, and be responsible, but we can get in touch with that part of us we lost a long time ago. One of my childhood movies "The little prince" there was a song that said "Oh the hopes and dreams I lived among when that heart of mine was wise and young" that is so true, we were wise once. Now we are living our lives in a fog, just surviving from day to day. I don't have all the answers, but wouldn't it be exciting to explore and find out answers to questions we stopped asking. Some people have horrible memories of their childhood, but there is still a little girl or boy that is dying to come out and play, explore and feel excited about life again. So, what excites you? Be spontaneous, let go and have fun.
Lauren

"We can learn a lot from each other."

I love people! Working with seniors citizens with all their different personalities is awesome! I have learned so much since I have been here. Being an Activity Director is a fun job, but sometimes not as easy as it may seem. Some of the things I have learned are tolerance, patience (well at least my residents say I am patient) empathy, and unconditional love. When you work with over 50 people and all their differences, and your job is to provide services for them, it changes everything. They are not your equal, you are there for the sole purpose of catering to them. At the beginning I found it difficult to work with some of them. They were ornery, brash, and sometimes downright rude. But, once I realized that I was the one that had the problem, I changed the way I looked at them. Now, I love them all for who they are, and what bothered me before no longer does. They make me smile. I give them love from my heart and they give me back so much more. Now, the employees where a little harder to do this with, but I have done it! I have learned to see the good in everyone I work with, and when something comes up, I know that I am the one that has an issue, and I have a choice to suffer, or change the way I think. It works! I mean just think if everyone was the same how boring that would be. I love people and sometimes it is difficult, but it makes life easier to find the good in them instead dealing with the opposite.

Lauren

"Our freedom is just a thought away"

Someone asked me a question, so this topic is fresh in my mind. It is about when other people in our lives, whether it is co-workers, friends, spouses etc. push our buttons and we feel frustrated, hurt, or unloved. (and all the other feelings that come up) It usually has nothing to do with that person. Did you know that? It has to do with our "perceptions" and "thoughts" usually based in the past. People are just living their lives like the rest of us. They don't go around trying to make us upset. They are just being who they are. So, we have to change our perceptions, and thoughts, totally accept them for who they are, or suffer. Which do you choose? For years I did this to my mom. My mom was just being herself, but everything she did and said I viewed it through my perceptions of the past. For years I was hurt and hurt her, but when I realized it was me who was doing this. I caused not only my suffering but hers as well. Do you know how incredible it feels, to just have a normal, peaceful conversation with my mom, without all the bullshit I created. It is FREEDOM! I know this may seem strange, but it is true. No one has power over you unless you give it to them. But remember one thing, it is the ego's mind that does this, this is not who we are. We have the power to live fulfilled lives, peaceful lives, and a life full of joy and laughter, right now! Everything in life, and I mean everything including how we live our lives is based on our perceptions and thoughts. Our freedom is just a thought away.
Lauren

"Dream or not to Dream"

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Harriet Tubman

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.

Pamela Vaull Starr

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.

T.E. Lawrence

Lauren

"Be everything you can be"

I was checking out other blogs. There are awesome inspiring blogs out there. One was talking about positive affirmations, some say that they work other people disagreed. I wrote a reply and said my opinion. I said that thinking positive is great but, I believe it is important to take it to a higher level by "being" what you seek. For example; if you want to be happy, it is important to "be" happy now. If you want love in your life, "be" love now. It is important to realize that when you "want" something all you'll end up geting is "wanting". You need to start, even if it is baby steps to live the life you desire. I want to inspire others through my books, and workshops, but I realized that I need to be inspiration, right now. There is a equation for getting what you desire. The one thing that most people seem to miss is the "giving" part of the equation. I know you have heard the saying many times you need to give in order to receive. I think people don't understand how important this really is. It is a very important factor in making what you desire come to you. Here is the universal equation (you will find this in many books) 1. Decide what you want. 2. Stop "wanting" it and Know that this is already yours. (live your life as if you already received it) 3. Give to others without obligation, from your heart. (if you want love, give love to others) 4. Change your attitude (if it needs changing) in other words my favorite quote "change the way you look at things and the things you look at change" 5. Everything is on God's timetable not yours. 6. Live a life of gratitude. Now, go and "be" everything you can be.

Lauren

"Random acts of Kindness."

I was reading my book and it was talking about how the author, Wayne Dyer, would live in inspiration by giving random acts of kindness every day. He gave examples such as a smile, a hug, give a flower to someone, or talk to a homeless person. I realize that I live my life like that, I do this on a daily basis and did not even realize it. How awesome is that. I remember a long time ago when I decided that when ever I would think of something positive about someone that I would share it with that person, even if it is a stranger. My husband thinks I am little nutty, he is use to it. I go up to strangers all the time. One time while grocery shopping I went up to a lady maybe in her late 70's and said to her, I hope I am not being condescending but you look adorable in your hat and dress. She had the biggest smile on her face and told me I made her day. I even saw her later in one of the isles smiling and humming to herself. So, lets try something, everyday this week I want everyone to, not only give random acts of kindness to others including strangers, but enlist a minimum of two other people to do the same thing. It can be anything from telling someone they have a great smile to hoping they have a fabulous day. If you want to do a little extra and do something for a co-worker you barely know, go for it. Have fun, be creative and let me know what happens. Now, go and have a fabulous week.
Lauren

"So, the lesson learned is....."

This is the forth week I have been riding my bike to work. I have also ridden to, Curves, twice on the trail, and around the neighborhood and I have lost 0 pounds. I don't get it. My paints don't feel any different. It is difficult when you work hard at something and you don't seem to get anywhere. Whether it's at work, on relationships, dieting, or what ever it does not seem fair. I mean, what are we suppose to be learning? When I stop my pity party, and yes I invited everyone to join along with me, I can look past the disappointment of not losing any weight. There is actually a lot to see, for instance, I have noticed that just by riding my bike I seem to be an inspiration to others. When you see a fat girl on a bike you automatically think "good for her" I get a lot of smiles and hellos, people are actually very friendly and courteous. I notice the quiet around me, it is so peaceful to ride to work. Today is a cooler day and the fresh air felt so good. I also noticed that it is getting easier to ride up that darn hill, and every time I make it, I am proud of myself. My husband and I are getting new bikes (we have old used ones that don't work very well) and we are committed to make a change in our lives, to be more in nature, to get out of the house and play more, to get into shape and most importantly to spend quality time together. So, the lesson learned is: When life seems unfair, and you think your working your butt off for nothing, look again, open your eyes you may see something you never seen before.


Lauren

"Be the silent observer."

Today was Hawaiian Day at my work. We had a great day. We had Hawaiian dancers and served poo poos (appetizers in Hawaiian) I was reading some historical facts about Hawaii. Did you know on one of the islands at a specific place the wind blows from east to west at 27 knots every day, 24 hours, 365 days a year. How crazy is that. That is amazing. This world is such an incredible place. There are amazing things that happen every day. The problem is most of us are too caught up in the daily drama to even notice. I can now be a silent observer and watch what happens at work while everyone around me gets caught up in the smallest things. And believe you mean, I am not perfect sometimes I catch myself getting caught up as well. But when I notice I can usually take myself out of the drama, and be at peace. I also can see one specific person who rarely comes to our site, but when she does, all peace disappears and I am in my in my head. My stomach gets nervous, and I get nauseous. Isn't it crazy how we let people effect our lives. One thing I have learned is the minute I think so and so "should" be doing that, or why is she doing this, I know that I need to step back and stop, because that is how usually things get started. I think life would be so much nicer if we take the time to just be with each other and accept them for who they are. I don't like everyone that I work with, but I try to see the best in them and when they push my buttons, I know that is my problem not theirs. I stop the negative thoughts. It is not easy but it is working for me. Try being the silent observer and see what happens.

Lauren

"Attachment, not a good word"

I figured out something. Yeah! I have been so attached to the outcome of my goals, that I have been not enjoying the now. Well, I have been back and forth. Enjoying life, having fun than Boom!, I have to do this and that, how do I do this or that. Back and forth! I realized that if you are attached to a specific outcome, you are actually limiting yourself. So, I have took the ME, out of attachment. I have been trying to figure out how to balance being in the now, and working toward my goals. I just did. For now on when I am writing, I am not going to be worried about how many followers I have, I am going to focus on being inspiration. I am starting my women's workshops again, and I am going to focus on giving to others instead of "me". See, I had it all backwards, I thought I have to "'get" where I am going before I can truly give to others. But I realized I need to starting "being" who I am, and giving right now, even if it is on a smaller scale. I think I am on to something, if more people take the "I" out of their lives, and give to others this world would be a better place.
Lauren

"Never to late to play."

Tomorrow I go back to work and the truth is I don't mind because I get to see my residents. They are so amazing. There are mostly women, a few men, and most of them are over 80 years old. They are so different, just like most people, but the one thing they have in common is a sense of calmness. I thought that they would be very old fashioned, and the same with their views, but they aren't. They are wise in a sense that they don't worry like we do. The only thing they worry about is where their teeth are, and what time is dinner. They see things differently then us younger folks. Maybe because they have been there, done that, and have figured out that worrying about things is pointless, and trying to control your surroundings is futile. They are very open to experience new things, and love to get in touch with their child within. We have a blast whether it is playing bean bag toss, or hitting a balloon back and forth, laughter is everywhere. They don't care what anybody else thinks, they say what they want. They don't appear to be afraid of death, and they know when their time has come, that means it is their time to go. They seem at peace with that. I have learned a lot from my residents. I have learned that their is no age limit for "playing", that you can learn at any age and that life at 80 is not so bad.
Lauren

"and the winner is...?"

Today I had the day off, a 4-day weekend! Yeah! I was reading the book by Wayne Dyer, called Inspiration. My friend Pam surprised me and we sat talking for hours. We were trying to "figure" things out. Trying to "figure" out how to really be "present", get out of our heads, and to "figure" out how to balance being present and reaching our goals, all the stuff I have been writing about for the past month. I got so frustrated, I am totally in my head right now. Most people I know, don't have big dreams like I have. I wish I wanted "the simple life", life would be so much easier. Most people just want to raise their families, and enjoy the life they have. Don't you? I mean I can't be that different, can I? I mean don't we all just want to be happy? Why do I feel I have a purpose, a gift to inspire people? Why am I driven to be the best I can be. Sounds like an ad for the Army. Am I delusional? I have been battling this for so long. The endless battle.... my soul vs. my head...........and the winner is????????? Some people think I am searching for something because I dislike who I am, to filll a void. Is that me? I don't think so, the truth is I can be totally happy with the life I have, because I do have a great life right now! But something is driving me forward, something from deep within, I know my purpose, who I am. If I can only get out of my own way, than I can just be who I am meant to be. I am inspiration! That is who I am!
Lauren

"I did it!"

I have to share something that happened yesterday. I actually road my bike on a bike trail for 8 miles, it took almost an hour with a small break before turning around. What was amazing was what I put myself through before we actually got on the trail. The voice in my head "cousin it" was talking up a storm, for some reason I got it in my head that this was a "scary thing" I was about to do. I was so nervous, that I literally was getting sick to my stomach. I mean, I know I am a little lame on a bike, but seriously I was freaking out. I thought to myself, there are walkers, joggers, other bikers "oh my!", walkers, joggers, bikers "oh my!" This is the perfect example how I let my head totally get in the way. When I got on the trail I had no problems, it was awesome! I did it! For those who know me, this was truly amazing. Just think of how we get in the way of ourselves. How often do we do this? It is crazy. But once we see it, then we can work on changing it. The only thing in our way to living a fulfilled life is ourselves. That is worth changing!
Lauren

"Change is good."

Well it has been three weeks since I started riding my bike to work. It still isn't any easier than the first time. I don't get it. I thought it would be much easier by now. What I have learned over the years is that change is difficult. I am trying to change my thoughts, my eating habits, and start enjoying exercise. Do you think I am asking for too much? Actually, nothing is impossible, but it does take time and patience. I think some people have the wrong idea about the word "change". I mean, I believe that some people think the only reason you need to "change" is because something is "wrong" or "bad", but that is not necessarily the case. I remember when I was in my teens and at a boarding school in Israel, I was so head strong that change for me meant I wasn't good enough and I had to prove to everyone that I was good enough. I remembered working in the refet (cow shed) and I wanted to prove to the "boys" because I was the only girl working there, that I was just as strong as them. I would take 15 hundred pound bushels of hay and drag them from place to place to feed the cows only to prove my point. The truth is what the heck was the point of that in the first place. Now for me change is a good thing, without change life would be boring and sometimes a little change can go a long way. You also can't forget the serenity prayer "Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." So, anything in your life you want to change?
Lauren

"Enjoy life right now!"

One of my best friends, Debbie had a comment on yesterday's blog. She said it reminded her of a quote, one that I have never heard before, it said "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened." I love that. Thank you Debbie!

Sometimes I feel we have several life times in one life. When I look at my life when I was 16, 24, or even 30 it seems like a completely different person. Sometimes I think, WOW! I did that. Other times I think thank God, I don't do that anymore. Life is so amazing. I mean, look back at who you were, what you have learned, and who you are now. What do you see? I feel that I have kept the best part of me and learned from the pain and mistakes. Isn't that the journey of life? My mom told me about a 3 day bicycle ride she took with a friend of hers on an island off of Korea. She is 65 years old and she road in a typhoon, in pouring rain, and in wind that almost knocked her down, than the next day she road in 110 degree heat, and she loved it! I bet when she was 25 years old she would not have imagined the incredible life she leads. We don't have to be rich, thin, or famous, we just have to have the freedom to be who we are, or who we choose to be. What ever age you are right now, and whatever you are doing, you can enjoy life right now!

Have an incredible weekend, and have fun!

Lauren

"That voice will not win today!"

I had a bad night last night. I felt like I was dreaming all night long. Unfortunately I remembered most of them. It was like a revisit of my past. A reminder of everything I have lost. My lost of innocence, my beloved grandparents, the house at Newport Beach (my safe place) and the loss of dear friends. I have no idea what my conscious was try to tell me, or if a dream is just a dream, who knows. All I know is right at this moment I am not "in-spirit" or "present" at all. I feel like I am in a fog, desperately searching for the road that will lead me home. I feel disconnected. Now, right this second I have a choice, a choice to follow the path that was laid out for me this morning and have a bad day or to change my thoughts, change the way I feel and have a great day. The question is can I do this? My stomach is churning, the waves of anxiety is in the pit of my stomach. Is it too late? No, it is never too late to choose joy and peace. I hear the doubt, as the voice in my head screams, yeah right. That voice will not win today. So, day here I come! Everybody have a great day, I know I will.

Lauren

"Just something to think about."

Have you ever noticed how people view themselves? I can only imagine that women are worse than men, but I could be wrong. It amazes me how women see themselves. When I am at curves the thinner women are just as insecure with their bodies than the bigger women. No one seems happy with their bodies. At least that is what I have noticed. How can we change that? Or can we? I think we have to start with changing how we look at things. Is it that simple just to change the way we think? We have been programed to think a certain way. So, I guess we have to reprogram ourselves. We need to start loving ourselves more. I was my own worst enemy for years, now I am my own best friend. But, yes there is a but, it takes practice and a couscous effort to stay out of my head and to be positive. I have noticed it takes more than just being positive, it takes being present, and loving yourself and each other. I have to stop myself every day not to judge myself and others. It is easier now, and it is amazing how life is better when you treat yourself and others better. It is possible to change. How many of us want to change? How many of us think we are to old to change? Or do we even think about it? How many of us just simply exist? Maybe that is OK. That is the question? Just something to think about.

Lauren