So, when we go through our daily lives does it seem like a lot of "ups" and "downs"? To me it seems like a cycle, sometimes things go well and we're happy and then shit happens. The saga of life. I know that I am happier more often than not, thank God! But what I want to know is do we have the power to change that? Like I have written before about whether or not we really have control over what happens in our lives, if we don't, then our only control is our reactions to what happens. Again we go back to perceptions, and how we view the things and people in our lives, which ultimately goes straight back to our "ego's mind", the rambling in our head. We run around doing all these things to try to make things turn out how we want them to turn out and when they don't, we are unhappy. I read a lot about not having attachment to outcomes, I can do that and not have attachment to specific outcomes, but I still have attachments to it turning out for my best. So, in other words I am still in the"wanting" of things and outcomes, still in the "future" of things, not being present, not surrendering, still trying to be in control. What would happen if we stop trying to control everything and live each moment and live for that day? I have been trying, I tell you right now it sure does sound nice. Question, why can't we do this? What are we afraid of? What are we giving up? Just something to think about. Comments are welcome!
Lauren
just something to think about every thing happen for a reason we might not know why at that moment but it will come clear one day
ReplyDeleteBelow is an article that made me think about some of your comments, Lauren. I don't know what's the best approach, but we do have choices.
ReplyDeleteKeep it to yourself
In our tell-all, Oprah-fied culture, we've come to believe that sharing our feelings is the only way to deal with life's struggles. But just the opposite is often true. "We've long thought that talking about problems is always better, but there's also evidence suggesting that this coping style doesn't work for everybody," explains Karin Coifman, PhD, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at Kent State University. Dr. Coifman and colleagues looked at how people whose spouse or child had just died coped with their loss. They learned that many of the subjects who avoided thinking or talking about their sadness—a style psychologists call repressive coping—had fewer short-term health problems, such as sore throats, diarrhea, and shortness of breath, as well as a lower incidence of long-term psychological problems. What's more, they returned to their everyday lives more quickly than those who dwelled upon their grief. "There's a lot to be said for getting on with the business of living," says Dr. Coifman. "People who talk endlessly about their problems are actually the ones at greater risk of depression." In fact, researchers at the University of Missouri, Columbia, found that participants who repeatedly expressed their sadness or disappointment were more likely to develop depression and anxiety. That doesn't mean you should just suck it up when something bad happens. While you shouldn't deny yourself natural grieving moments, learning to direct your attention away from the stressor is a powerful coping mechanism. So after experiencing that initial burst of tears, turn to something positive—check in on a friend or rearrange your furniture. It's an important skill to look beyond the bad—we wouldn't survive as a species otherwise, Dr. Coifman adds.
Thanks for the comments, guys, I want to hear from you more often. I am just venting, and it does help.Thanks for listening. You guys are awesome, by the way. Talk to you soon.
ReplyDeleteLauren